ALL that I am capable

Box Inside My Heart

In the span of my life (even only 22 years in)...i find it incredible that the people who I encounter, the conversations i partake in, the images i see and music i hear, the big events and the little, praise-worthy and hindering experiences all have the ability to change my perspectives, my actions and potentially the trajectory of my life. 

Just four days ago, I untaped a box that I had at once so intentionally hid inside my heart and mind. For thirteen years I have piled experiences, forced emotions, obsessions, relationships around and on the top of this box. The secrets that didn't seem like secrets, because they weren't meant to be hidden, they were meant to protect me. I thought by hiding these things in, I would have control over them. This box has taken control over me. 

The contents of this box are almost forgotten, they have been stored in so long. Sometimes when I search my heart I see it, and am reminded it is there, but i push it aside. It is so long gone, surely to keep it stored is best. However this box has diseased by whole heart, little by little. It fogs my heart and mind that at times i cannot even think clearly or accurately. This disease, the box inside me has only the power to control with my consent. And I will say no. I in Jesus' name, will overcome by standing on the promises of God.